Hot Wound

Stay Golden Pony Boy

Today I was “all lost in the supermarket” Clash-style. I was having an existential crisis that I was pretty sure Whole Foods could solve, as it often does. Yet again, it didn’t disappoint.

“Would you like to try something new?” asked a middle-aged woman, wearing an apron behind a neatly lined display of jewel-toned packages.

“Yes, exactly. Yes!”

“Well there’s a new fruit, okay well not new, but most Americans don’t know about it. It’s a super fruit,” her spiel continues - “fair trade, organic, can trace every berry back to one farmer, green, socially responisble and tangy! They’re golden berries…”

Tangy? I’m sold. One tiny bag cost about as much as a burrito at Cosmic (my measure of all things cost related), however, they basically saved my day. All I needed were some bioflavins, a health dose of energy and a dash of Vitamin A. I pecked my way through the bag between shelving books and hunting down stray titles. Each tiny golden berry has a superhero, hi-yah kick of sour that could only mean it’s healthy (see kombucha). By the time I got to the end of the bag, I had alphabetized my way to a clear head and had a bit more energy to boot.

All the while, I just kept hearing Johnny’s voice in the back of my head….

Caution: only use on “damsel in distress” type days or else you’ll notice a severe chunk taken out of your wallet.

-R